I Write TV Shows, Musicals & Movies
MY SCREENWRITING CAREER…
I’m a WGA Guild screenwriter and my voice is best described as deranged Disney princess meets liberated woman. I’m like if Drew Barrymore and Larry David had a secret love child. But, sadly, I’m not a nepo baby (or I’d be famous by now). Watch the video below to learn more about my voice as a writer.
I currently have a comedy feature starring Leslie Jones that’s also going to be Jone’s directorial debut. Additionally, I’ve had a movie optioned by Village Roadshow Entertainment, developed an original rom com with Andy Fleming, Mike Medavoy and Phoenix Pictures, a TV series with Jeff Garlin and creators of Curb Your Enthusiasm, a TV pilot with Nicolas Cage and an original TV series with Good Karma Productions led by Kunal Nayyar. I also have a movie based on the Hasbro board game Candyland with Kim Eva Mutuka (currently seeking producing partners and financing). While I’ve got a plethora of original projects in the works, my dream right now would be to be hired in a writer’s room with other like-minded souls.
I’m deeply intuitive and also work as an energy healer and psychic channel. My ability to feel everything, though overwhelming at times, is also my super power. In other words, yes, I talk to dead people, and yes, I’ve remembered all my past lives through past life regression. My intuition allows me to tap into the emotions of the characters I write. Between all the spirit guides in my energy field and the characters in my head, it’s just a raging party over here. But in all seriousness, I believe intuitive women are the most powerful beings on this planet. I’m here to fuck shit up and I don’t intend to do so quietly.
Speaking of intuitive women, yes it’s true I once met Nicolas Cage on Craigslist and wrote a TV pilot with him, only for it to end with him accusing me of opening a portal to dark magic. Apparently, the priestess character I wrote was too similar to his actual priestess in New Orleans? A female character arc, witchcraft! (Welcome to Hollyweird.) But I’m an alchemist. So I turned all my trauma into gold by channeling it into MY BIG BREAK (DOWN), the opening number for my Broadway musical, which tells the full the unfiltered story about meeting Nicolas Cage on Craigslist (via an unsolicited blind date). This song also talks about the comedian who really “Curbed my Enthusiasm” when he whipped out his dick (it wasn’t Larry). My mission is to burn the patriarchy down the way the God Lord intended: one musical theater number at a time. Alerting the girls, the gays and good men first because only people with a conscience are going to see Wicked For Good.
My musical Butterflies tonally is Wicked meets Fleabag with a story arc like Ever After. It’s a modern Cinderella story except it’s entirely true based on my life because we don’t need fairytales when reality is stranger than fiction. Also I wrote Dolly Parton as the fairy-god-mother character because my spirit guides told me she’s meant to do this with me…so if anyone knows Dolly help a bitch out 🪄✨. Butterflies is really about a woman’s ability to metamorphose no matter what kind of hell she’s been through and how only in facing her darkness is she truly able to get her wings🦋✨.
Nick Cage wasn’t my first time on Craigslist. I have insane stories about all the crazy things I've done to get my foot, or mermaid flipper in the door—flipper reference in relation to the fact that I worked multiple Craigslist kid's birthday parties dressed as Ariel because I’ve been that desperate for money despite having deals with the BIG SHOTS. Here’s a wild idea: maybe I should have been paid for my work?
The show I was writing with Nicolas Cage was about past lives and he was convinced we’d had one together. At the time, I thought he was nuts. Now, I’m writing my own TV show about my own past lives— and that fateful Craigslist meeting. It’s called A Tail as Old as Time and tonally its Crazy Ex-Girlfriend meets Hacks meets Avatar. It’s like a dark retelling of The Little Mermaid. According to past life regressions, this isn’t my first time in Hollywood, with Nicolas Cage, or even with a fucking mermaid tail on (ever heard of Lemuria or Atlantis?).
Overall, I write“fish-out-of-water”(or mermaid-out-of-water) stories about women and the misunderstood misfits of the world coming into their power and realizing their true potential. All the stories I write have some sort of element of profound healing, but they’re usually lensed through bush jokes and those relatable, albeit uncomfortable, human moments. I find the magic in the grounded and the supernatural in the super natural. I’m here to uplift, heal, and bring love to people through the stories I tell. It’s the heart of a simple, feel-good ’90s rom-com, or the catharsis of a high-concept buddy comedy, but told in a way that allows people to reach a deeper healing within themselves. Sometimes, the only way to move through and understand some of our deepest pain is by watching characters — who remind us of ourselves — transmute that same pain into joy on the screen. But let’s also laugh our asses off while we do it. After all, life is fleeting — let’s make it fun. My writing is equal parts rom com, revolution, and real life.
Below I’ve included a list of all the projects I’ve developed and the status of each one and what we’re seeking. If you want to read any of my scripts, or are interested in hiring me in a writer’s room, or on a WGA scale assignment please email me at Kendall.milton@gmail.com!
Like what you see? Hire me in your writer’s room (WGA rates only — unless it’s another once-in-a-lifetime Craigslist gig, in which case I’ll dust off my mermaid tail).
✍️ Current Projects Seeking Support
PICKLED – Pickleball comedy feature | With Leslie Jones, Eleanor Kerrigan, and potentially Paul Feig & Drew Barrymore
Official script finished. Leslie Jones attached to star and direct. In talks with Paul and Drew.
The tone is BRIDESMAIDS meets DODGEBALL, but it’s PICKLEBALL.
CURRENTLY SEEKING - funding (open to brands too), an official co-star to play opposite Leslie, and a committed producing partner!
BUTTERFLIES – Broadway & movie musical | With James Allen Roberson
Official script and lyrics finished (several song tracks still in production).
The tone is WICKED meets FLEABAG with a story arc like EVER AFTER. It’s a modern Cinderella story. It’s written for both the stage and the screen
CURRENTLY SEEKING - Broadway & film producing partners. Also SOMEONE WHO CAN GET IT DOLLY (& MILEY)… LOL 🦋
CANDYLAND – Drama-comedy feature | With Kim Matsuka
Official script finished.
The tone is BARBIE meets LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE and it’s based on Hasbro’s Candyland.
CURRENTLY SEEKING - a director and producing partners (THE DREAM WOULD BE MARGOT, LUCKY CHAP & GRETA 💖)
✍️ Past Projects & Their Status
GETTING CAUGHT IN THE RAIN – Rom-Com | Developed with Mike Medavoy, Andy Fleming & Phoenix Pictures
CURRENT STATUS - contract negotiations paused, seeking support of lawyer.
DAD BAND Feature | With Village Roadshow
Optioned and paid for low budget polish by Village Roadshow until they went bankrupt.
CURRENT STATUS - waiting to be paid the 139k Village Roadshow owes me for my work on DAD BAND & EVERYONE GETS FIRED. Have WGA lawyers on this.
BECOMING DONNA – TV Pilot | With Kunal Nayyar & Good Karma Productions
Mob comedy based on a true story of a teen girl being groomed to lead her family’s mafia
Developed in collaboration with Kunal Nayyar, another writer, and Good Karma, we pitched it, but weren’t able to sell it.
CURRENT STATUS - project halted, no longer working with the team, or my co-writer.
EVERYONE GETS FIRED – TV Series | With Jeff Garlin & Village Roadshow
Co-wrote pitch with Jeff Garlin; pitched as CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM from the perspective of Larry David’s assistant. Developed in partnership with Steve Mosko and Village Roadshow. Was promised money and contracts for my work by both Jeff and Steve that I never received. Worked for 2+ years in development on this series. They never paid me, or the other writer on this then Village Roadshow declared bankruptcy.
CURRENT STATUS - I filed a settlement through the WGA, waiting to paid money I am owed by Jeff Garlin and Village Roadshow. Have WGA lawyers on this, but lawyers who specialize in bankruptcy claims are welcome.
REINCARCERATION – TV Pilot | With Nicolas Cage
Developed pilot and series bible with Nicolas Cage and another writer based on a story he’d written and my own idea about past lives.
Wrote the script and was paid by Saturn Films for the work I did and agreed I could use it as a writing sample.
CURRENT STATUS - no longer pitching the script, but able to send as a writing sample.
MRS. CLAUS – Holiday Feature | With Anthony Hemingway
ELF meets HIDDEN FIGURES in this feminist Christmas film developed for Emmy-winning director Anthony Hemingway.
We weren’t able to sell it, but I still believe in the Christmas magic of it!
CURRENT STATUS - project on pause for now (hopefully not forever).
LOVE NOT LIKES – TV Pilot | With Happy Madison, Kevin Pollak, Kevin Grady, Nikki Soohoo, Eleanor Kerrigan, Dylan Mulvaney & Jeff Garlin
Created, produced, directed, and acted in original pilot with my former partner, Dylan Mulvaney, Nikki Soohoo & Eleanor Kerrigan in 2019 that Happy Madison’s Kevin Grady edited. Developed series with Jeff Garlin, also wrote a role for Kevin Pollak.
Developed originally with Steve Mosko and Matt Mosko at Happy Madison in 2016.
CURRENT STATUS - TV pilot proof of concept shot, project paused for now. No longer working with my co-writer on this.
MILLENNIAL MESSIAH – TV Pilot | With Greg Daniels’ Company
PARKS AND REC meets TED LASSO in this odd-ball comedy about a female narcissist who lacks purpose and decides to start a cult as the next messiah.
Developed with an executive from Greg Daniels’ team, but never took it to the marketplace.
CURRENT STATUS - paused for now. No longer working with my co-writer.
